The longest 1,000 yards
đȘ King of wands: Wisdom, trailblazer, creativity, visionary, self-expression
I was once what you might call a competitive swimmer. Swimming used to take up a lot of my brain space, mostly because I spent all my time swimming, getting ready to swim, thinking about having to swim, or recovering from swimming. Today, swimming takes up almost zero space in my life. It was once my identity, and I was traumatically stripped of my character when it ended. It took me a long time figure out how to navigate the world and find meaningful ways to spend my time outside of athletics.
Now, with significant space from my aquatic life, I am able to invite fond memories back instead of pure resentment. One aspect of devoting my life to a team sport was that I spent a lot of time with the same people. The drama was infinite, but so were the jokes, so it all evened out. I know now that it is rare to be surrounded by that many truly talented people, even if they were a bunch of psychos. You have to be certifiably demented to choose swimming as a sport. Recently, a memory of a treasured teammate popped into my head.
The first time I ever saw someone wearing Crocks was when I met Casey. He was from Colorado, swam mid-distance, loved The Grateful Dead, and smoked a lot of weed. He held a perfect combination of talent and disinterest in the sport, which made him good, but never great. It also made him one of my people. Casey brought levity to an otherwise intense environment. Itâs like he was the only one that knew it was all a joke. He was always aloof, but never disrespectful; a natural leader with a generous heart. Everyone loved him.
I have this really clear memory of Casey that is, by all accounts, not remarkable, but has stuck with me after all these years. It was the last big meet of the year. All the hard work and suffering was for this event. Everyone hoped their training would pay off in the fastest race of their life, or at least a spot on the podium. It was Caseyâs senior year, which meant every race was the last time heâd ever compete in that event. A feeling that is equally exciting and despairing. The last assault on the muscles, and the last opportunity for athletic achievement.
It was the end of the morning session, which meant everyone but the distance swimmers were packing up to rest at the hotel before finals. The 1,000 yard freestyle takes a long time and doesnât get much team support or attention. Itâs boring for everyone involved. Mainly for the person swimming. It was the last 1,000 Casey was ever going to swim. Who knows what was going through his mind before he stepped up to the block.
I remember walking back to the pool after a long shower and noticing a crowd of people gathered around the pool. I walked over to see what was causing the commotion. âHoly shit, is that Casey?â, I asked. He was almost two laps ahead of everyone. We crowded around coach to see splits on the stopwatch. âOh my god, thatâs really fastâŠ.itâs too fast right? How long can he hold that?â, someone asked. Coach let out a chuckle and said, âI have no idea.â
Our eyes were wide with disbelief. We looked at each other and began to realize this was a suicide mission. A balls to the wall swim that could only end in near drowning unless there was divine intervention. On his last swim, he fucking going for it.
We had to move fast. The whole team lined the pool and we began cheering at the top of our lungs. We just had to help him through the next 25 laps. If he could maintain a pace even close to what he had for the first half, he would become a new tier of athlete. Soon, swimmers and parents from other teams joined in, jumping, whistling, and yelling, âGOOOOOOOOO!!!KEEP IT UP!!!â. The effort was so insane that everyone wanted him to succeed. It was pure heart, and everyone felt it.
Soon, the gap between Casey and the other seven swimmers shortened. We saw signs that he was âdying.â His arms were stiff as the muscles hardened with lactic acid. His hips dropped as he turned for breath on each stroke. Every turn was abbreviated with a gasp of air off each wall. We all knew how much pain he was in. Every single one of us had been there before. It was like watching your kid be bullied at school. We were heartbroken for him when he finished behind nearly everyone.
When Casey touched the wall, the crowd erupted in cheer. Was it a celebration that he didnât seriously hurt himself? An applause for the courage and heart it took to truly go for it? A pity clap for such an epic fail? Maybe a bit of all three. Casey lifted his head from the water and we watched in suspense to see where he might land on the range of possible feelings. He let out a big breath, looked over with a huge grin, and shrugged his shoulders as if to say⊠âWell, no one can say I didnât try.â
I had always looked up to Casey, but there was something about that swim that pushed him into hero status for me. At once it was a âfuck youâ and a genuine attempt at success. It was the âCaseyâ way of expressing his anger at this thing that had robbed him of so many hours of his life, mixed with his desire to do something great. True to form, he made everyone around him smile, and inspired us to be brave in our actions.
Last week followed a similar trajectory as that infamous swim. I started off on fire, then crashed and burned so hard. I was trying to imagine what it would have looked like to an audience, then felt mortified just thinking about it. This is when Casey came to my mind. Watching someone try and fail can be truly inspiring. Surely, I inspired no one with my tantrums this week, but maybe I stood up for myself a little more than usual, and thatâs something.
During a low moment this week, I shuffled up my little babies and pulled the King of Wands.
đȘ King of wands
Wisdom, trailblazer, creativity, visionary, self-expression
What a card to come through in a moment of chaos. I didnât want to accept the Three of Swords into my space last week, but it was definitely present. Iâd like to quickly reflect that the three was real and there to fuck things up a little. I was helped to understand this as a positive and clearing energy, even if a bit painful. I still think itâs a sucky card though.
Back to the King of Wands. I havenât spent much time with this card so I am excited to dig in. One of the first things I felt was relief that it wasnât a Sword. At the very least I am hopeful for a shift away from the mental plane with a card in the suite of Wands. The imagery of a king sitting confidently on his thrown, looking self-assured and calm, is inspiring and encouraging. The Rider Waite version of this card is brilliant with color which makes me think there is a lot of energy in this card.
The suite of Wands are associated with intuition, creativity, and strength. Wands also map to the element of fire which is energetic, wild, and unpredictable. When wands show up, they ask us to get in touch with the core of who we really are.
The meanings of the Wands Tarot cards deal with the spiritual level of consciousness and mirror what is important to you at the core of your being. They address what makes you tick â your personality, ego, enthusiasm, self-concept, and personal energy, both internal and external.
â Biddy Tarot
The King represents the highest expression of this suite. He asks for us to use our unique forms of creativity to build the lives we want. This card also calls on us to stay aligned with who we truly are, and to take full command of how we use our energy, including how we conserve it. My man Casey is the King of Wands. No one is going to tell that dude how to manage his energy. Incidentally, the King of Wands can serve as a warning not to set unrealistic expectations for ourselves and others. Itâs a setup for failure to make goals that are significantly out of reach and then wind up pushing too hard reach those unattainable goals. Sound familiar?
On the positive side, this card signals a readiness to step into a visionary role and lead others towards a common goal. Carrying the energy of this card, people will naturally gravitate towards your charisma, determination, and focus. The King of Swords is here to serve as a reminder that people believe in you, they want to be part of what you are manifesting, and they will support you through it.
Howâs that for a little turn of energy? This card reminds us that opportunity is staring us in the face and we actually have the power to take on the challenge. Donât be scared. Keep the grand vision in front of you, and see it through. Fucking go for it.
xoxo